Tommy Archer wiped away the condensation forming on the inside of the van windscreen again and peered out into the dark at the front gate of the laboratory. The walkie-talkie in his lap was silent; still they waited for the 'Go' signal from the boss. A lighter flared in the compartment behind him and more cigarette smoke drifted forward. Tommy winced. He'd given up smoking last month, and this wasn't helping. The van already smelled like an old ashtray.
Suddenly the radio squawked. Tommy held it to his ear. "Right, boss ..." He turned to the four men in the back. "OK chaps, we're off ... you know what to do."
The van shifted and groaned as the four got out of the back and disappeared into the darkness. Tommy looked at his watch; give 'em ten minutes, then follow 'em up, the boss said ... he settled back to wait some more.
But it was a good plan, and it was going like clockwork so far. A nice little Christmas earner, he thought. Now he would be able to buy Carole and the kids something nice.
Beside him, Dave Leeson stifled a yawn. Tommy had never worked with Dave before, though he came from a "good" family and had a growing reputation as an up & coming 'Face'. Tommy thought he was a bit young, and he'd heard he was a little free with his fists, but he'd learn.
Someone was walking up to the gate ... he nudged Dave.
"Look ... what do you reckon?"
Dave leaned forward. "Dunno ... don't know 'em. Passers by?"
"Could be ... nope! They're stoppin'!"
"Cleaners?" Naw ... the guy was dressed like a clown, all colours of the bleeding rainbow. Stood out a mile! And the woman ... Dave whistled.
"Corr ... wouldn't mind a bit of that!"
The radio squawked again. Tommy picked it up and listened. "Good ... They've dealt with the guards."
Dave pointed at the two newcomers, who were passing under the gate and approaching the main building. "What about them?"
Tommy pulled the pistol from his coat and grinned. "We'll pick 'em on the way ..."
***
"Doctor, that TARDIS of yours needs a darn good service!"
Peri was becoming increasingly frustrated at the regularity with which the TARDIS was breaking down. As if the problem with the Chameleon Circuit wasn't enough, there was that horrible business about the Zeiton ore on Varos, and the mercury link running dry in Bangkok, and that gizmo burning out on the Eye of Orion ... and now this!
The Doctor turned on her angrily. "Service! Service! My dear Peri, the TARDIS isn't just a Morris Minor that you pop down to the local garage to have its lubes changed! The TARDIS is made of delicate equipment ... it requires a delicate touch."
Peri laughed sarcastically. She remembered the Doctor's "delicate touch" on Orion; if she hadn't pulled that cricket bat away from him, they would never have left with the console intact. "Why can't you take it back to Gallifrey to be fixed?"
"You must be joking! I am a fully qualified TT Capsule mechanic ... well, I would have been if I'd stayed to take the exam. No, I can fix it. All I need ..." and he peered down the corridor at the signs on the wall "... is a little uranium ore. Ah-ha!" He strode down the corridor towards a door at the end. Peri sighed and followed.
***
Tommy and Dave slipped quietly from the stairwell and watched them go. A door creaked behind them and they spun round, then relaxed when they saw that it was Ted Macowan, one of the other robbers.
"Problem?" He murmured.
"Nothing we can't handle. Sort out those guards okay?"
Ted grinned and held up a Taser stun-gun. "These babies work a treat. They're all well out of it."
"OK ... keep it handy." More footsteps on the stairs. Tommy looked up. The boss! He thought he'd be in for the kill ...
***
The Doctor swung open the door and marched inside, looking around him. Peri hovered nervously.
"Doctor, don't you think its funny this place isn't guarded? These doors should be locked at least."
The Doctor looked up from his rummaging. "My dear girl, this country is in the middle of a recession ... I expect their budget doesn't allow for an impressive security presence. Oh, there's probably some little old man fast asleep somewhere ... ah-ha! There we are!"
Opening another door he found a large steel hatch. 'DANGER - RADIOACTIVE SAMPLES' was stencilled on it. The Doctor rattled the handle. Locked. He looked back smugly at Peri.
"You see?" He pulled some skeleton keys from his pocket and started working on the lock.
"I really must replace my sonic screwdriver one day ... I must have a spare somewhere. Ah, there we go!" The door to the walk-in safe swung slowly open.
"Congratulations, Doctor, you've saved me a little job!"
The Doctor spun round at the sound of that hated voice ... the Master! He stood in the doorway, a grin stretched across his evil features. Two vicious looking men held Peri captive, and he could see four more in the office behind him. All were armed with guns and Taser stun-weapons. The Doctor raised his hands.
***
The Master had the Doctor and Peri trussed to chairs inside the vault, while the robbers got on with ransacking what was inside. The Master held a small steel flask in his hands, stroking it gently. The Doctor looked at him and smirked.
"What's that? A new pet?"
The Master laughed. "In a manner of speaking. This little flask contains a sample of a bacterium found on a recent meteorite. With a little cultivation, I intend to use it to destroy all mankind. Unless they give in to my demands, of course."
"Of course." The Doctor struggled against his bonds. No good - professionally done. "A germ is about all that would take a shine to you."
The Master yawned. "I would love to stay and chat over old times, Doctor, but I'm running to a tight schedule. You!" He snapped his fingers at Dave. "Watch them. I shall return, and then ..." He toyed with his Tissue Compression Eliminator, laughed and left. Dave scowled and raised two fingers at his back.
The Doctor looked hard at Dave. "Not a terribly polite chap, is he? You know he's insane, don't you? He wants to rule all life on Earth. Or destroy it. Frankly, I think he'd be happy either way."
Dave shrugged. "So? Not much bleedin' different to the Yanks or the Russians then is he? He pays well, and that's all that matters. Worked with nastier geezers than 'im."
Throughout the exchange Dave's eyes never left Peri. They roamed up & down her tightly-bound body, a lustful gleam flickering brightly. She was gorgeous ... He flicked a glance back into the office. No-one there. The boss had gone off to see what else he could nick ... wouldn't be back for at least quarter of an hour. Time enough ... He licked his lips and moved forward.
He reached out and stroked Peri's head, his hand falling to her shoulder. The girl shuddered beneath his touch and his smile became wider.
"Hey!" shouted the Doctor. Dave spun round angrily, raising his pistol to strike him. But Peri cut in quickly:
"No! Doctor ... it's okay ... maybe we can ... work out a deal."
Peri smiled alluring at the man and twisted sinuously against her bonds.
"Sure we can, babe!" he breathed, hands reached out for her again but Peri shook her head.
"Not in this chair ... it's too ... uncomfortable."
"Okay ... but your hands stay tied."
Peri smiled brilliantly. "Fine with me ..."
He pushed her up against the wall. She struggled beneath him. "No ... no! Not with him watching!"
With a curse, Dave went over to the Doctor and turned his chair round. The Doctor struggled desperately.
"Don't you dare! Leave her alone!" But Dave just elbowed his head viciously.
Behind him, Peri groped behind her for the Taser stun-gun that she'd spotted one of the men had left on the small bench behind her. She grasped it and felt for the trigger ...
Dave returned and grinned greasily. "Better, baby?"
"Better!" As he stepped forward to her she jerked round and thrust the Taser into him. It crackled viciously and Dave fell with a horrible cry, clutching his groin.
"Bet that dampened your ardour!" she gasped, kneeling down for the knife in his belt.
The Doctor sighed, mightily relieved. "Good girl! I didn't think he was your type!"
She scowled. "You know, I get really tired of all these creeps pawing at me the whole time ... 'bout time I got a little of my own back!"
She popped open the switchblade and cumbersomely set to work on the Doctor's ropes.
***
The Master and Tommy hurried back to the vault. The Master had got all the equipment he wanted. All that remained was to deal with the Doctor. They stepped inside the safe and found Dave lying unconscious on the floor. A voice drifted from behind them. They froze.
"Hold it, Master ..." They turned slowly to find the Doctor covering them with Dave's pistol. Peri stood beside him. "Drop your weapons."
Tommy complied, but the Master stood where he was. "Come on, Doctor, I know you better than that. You'll never use it." He stepped forward. So did the Doctor.
"You think so? Well, let me tell you ... since my regeneration, I seem to have lost a little of my ... delicate touch. How many people have I offed recently, Peri?"
"At least twenty... since last Tuesday!"
"So you see ... two more won't make any difference." He pulled back the hammer. Tommy pulled at the Master's arm.
"He means it, boss ..."
He shook his arm off and narrowed his eyes. "I don't believe you," he said slowly, and reached for his TCE.
Peri lunged forward and jabbed him with the Taser. The Master fell back into the vault on top of Tommy with a howl. The Doctor kicked the door shut and spun the locking wheel.
"That should hold him ... now for the police!" They went back into the office to find a phone.
***
The other robbers hung around outside the van. Where the hell was Archer and the boss? Ted looked at his watch. Monty suddenly clutched at his sleeve. They heard sirens, approaching fast. Police cars screeched to a halt, blocking both ends of the street. They were trapped.
"Cops! Let's scarper!"
"Back inside! Quick!" Ted led the men back inside, pistol raised. The boss would get them out.
***
The Doctor held up the tiny crystalline unit to the air and smiled, satisfied. He popped it into a slot in the TARDIS and the lights suddenly became brighter and the TARDIS ambient noise lost the rough edge it had gained of late.
He rubbed his hands. "Perfect! Where to next then?"
"What about the Master?" Peri asked.
"What about him? The police recovered that virus. You don't have to worry about that."
"No, I mean, don't you want to be around for the trial? They did catch him ... didn't they?"
The Doctor looked up and smiled grimly.
***
They swung the door to the vault back open and the Inspector went inside. He lowered his gun.
"Empty! No-one here at all ... I thought you said they all ran back inside the building?"
The Sergeant shrugged. "They did, guv. Gotta be here somewhere. We got the place completely covered. No way they could have got out."
"Then they must be hiding ... what's that?"
There was a large box tied up with a pink ribbon on one of the shelves. There was a card on top. The Inspector picked it up and read it out.
" 'Seasons Greetings from the Master. PS sorry I couldn't provide a seventh dwarf!'. What's that mean?"
He pulled the ribbon away and opened the box.
The shrunken dead bodies of Tommy, Dave, and the other four robbers lay inside, their tiny eyes gazing up at them with sightless horror ...
